


mourn with the moon

by cinnabean



Series: mourn with the moon [1]
Category: The Song of Achilles - Madeline Miller
Genre: M/M, POV Achilles
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-04
Updated: 2016-11-04
Packaged: 2018-08-28 20:53:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 414
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8462587
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cinnabean/pseuds/cinnabean
Summary: After hearing Chiron's words, Achilles imagines what the future will be like once he is gone.





	

"Perhaps it is the greater grief, after all, to be left behind when another is gone." 

Achilles tries to imagine it that night, after Chiron has retired and Patroclus is washing his face in preparation for sleep. He imagines, first, himself fighting some magnificent battle, adorned in golden armor and caressed with blood and gore from the enemies he strikes down. He sees himself fall with the army behind him coursing on to avenge him--chanting, wailing, _Achilles, Achilles, Achilles_ as they march to victory. He sees them collect the body and carry it back to camp, where Patroclus falls on it with a cry and cannot bear to let go for days. Patroclus, who is sun-kissed and lovelier than Achilles has ever seen him before, who darkens and fades. The starshine in his eyes falls away as the nights go by, dulled by grief. He does not leave the body to eat, or to sleep. He carries it into a tent that must be their own, onto a cot that they must share like they do at Pelion, and lays beside him. A girl with dark skin and dark hair comes often to comfort him-- and Achilles does not know how to feel about that, how his mind creates a woman to stay by Patroclus' side when he himself is not, though he feels terribly glad that Patroclus usually ignores her in favor of cradling the body. He watches as days pass, and then weeks, and the gladness of Patroclus ignoring the woman for him falls away to fear as she cannot get him to feed or to drink. As Patroclus wastes away on the cot next to Achilles, until the dark woman inevitably comes to find them both gone.

He opens his eyes and fixes them on Patroclus, alive and strong as he cups water onto his cheeks with his soft concentration. _I will not leave him behind,_ Achilles swears. _I will never let grief destroy him. I will not leave him._

Patroclus wipes his face with a scrap of cloth and removes his tunic before climbing into the bed of furs beside Achilles. Their eyes meet and, as if guessing the nature of Achilles' thoughts, Patroclus presses in close and smiles gently, kindly. Achilles closes his eyes and holds his beloved friend close, chasing away the last wisps of images of Patroclus, mourning to his death.

He does not think to imagine that it could ever be the other way around.

**Author's Note:**

> edit: I decided to make this into a series rather than a multi chap fic D: sorry for any confusion.


End file.
